Summary: Self-betterment is part of our human nature. If wanting personal change is rooted in our survival, why do so many of us struggle with making a change? If you’re a lifelong learner seeking ways to future-proof, up level or find a higher gear, start here. Learn five practices that take you from “I don’t know how to change” to “I’ve got this!”

Do you ever wonder why so many of us want to improve all the time? We want to be more productive, more successful, more fit, more rested, more mindful, more, more more! What is it about humans that make us this way?

When I was in my 30s as a management consultant, the senior partner asked me what I did outside of work. I remember clear as day sharing that I believed in personal improvement and so I spend time learning things. He asked about what I enjoy reading. I said with a straight face, “leadership development books and Harvard Business Review.”

That conversation planted a small seed in me. I wondered when I would stop taking work so seriously. Someday, I’d become the type of person who figures out how to comfortably know what I don’t know. When I do, it would feel confidently amazing.

And now, a few decades later, I’ve worked through this. I help my clients recognize and act upon what they’re tolerating that hinders their growth. Here’s five practices that help you shift from “I don’t know how to change” to “I’ve got this!”

1. Compete less with others

Focus on your own growth and don't compare your progress to others. Letting go of perfectionism, high expectations and negative thought loops can also help. Remember, potential looks different for everyone, and it's important to run your own race. If you want to improve your “Personal Best,” focus on you rather than others. What impact can you uniquely do?

2. Find answers from within

Realize that you are on your own path. What makes personal change difficult is that it’s all about the individual nuanced and internal beliefs you have that may be getting in the way. If there was one resource or book to help you do this, we would have all achieved our best life already. We each have inner wisdom, knowing, intuition and other tools that help to guide us. Even emotions are a tool that helps us to feel amazing or to feel negative. What’s one small step to take now?

Setbacks serve as the tipping point to help you see you are on your path. Download this bonus guide – Stepping Stone Approach.

3 Ask, “What do I really want?”

If you want to make a change in your life, you need to ask the deep questions. This question was the most powerful one I could think of, which is why I put it on the cover of my book - “What do I really want?” Ask it 4-5 times. Ask the question at night, or first in the morning. However you respond, there are clues in your words about what you desire. How do you live life on your own terms?

4 Ask, “What’s getting in my way?”

You know this list. This is the stuff that keeps you up at night. We all have blockers getting in the way of what we want. Call out what’s not working for you. Our inner limits are made up of our stories, excuses, limiting beliefs and fears. Once you locate those inner limits, you can begin to focus on overcoming them one at a time. What am I tolerating?

5 Declare what happens when you remove the blockers

Take a moment to daydream that if the list you created in #4 above were removed, imagine what they would mean for you. You would arrive at your destination. You would have the thing you want the most. You would feel complete confidence, freedom and happiness. This is the stuff vision boards are made of. The outcome you want is different than the desire (thing) itself. Your Ultimate Future includes all the emotions and meaning that fuel your spirit. What do you see happens now?

By using these five practices, you begin to see the pattern in your life and declare what you really want. The seed that was planted that day was knowing I was in charge of when my life would change. I would be the one to say, “enough’s enough!” The power was within all along.

Sometimes we have to look inward to move forward.